An interview with our dear Mantriji

Reporter: So Mantriji, you are now in-charge of charging & investigating corruption charges on your peers and other government officials…

Mantriji: Yes yes, bilkul, corruption is a sin and must be condomed.

Reporter: But Mantriji, what about the Gutter case against you a few years back?

Mantriji: Please please do not defame me. It was not Gutter Case, it was Sewage & Sanitation issue. What is the Gutter, Futter!!! NO class!!!

Reporter: Sorry Mantriji. But what about that case? I believe it is still pending

Mantriji: Of course it will be pending. No proof is left. It is such an old case. If there was any truth in those allegations then do you think I would be roaming around free. I even got elected again.

Reporter: Regarding the re-election, Mantriji there were allegations of buying votes for cash and other freebies in your constituency.

Mantriji: Sab Jooth! If I give away gifts to my own people that will improve their lives then what is harm

Reporter: But Mantriji, giving such gifts especially during elections are a direct violation of the EC codes!

Mantriji: Code Phode all rubbish! What EC understands plight of common man. The poor man cannot even watch his favourite serial or an old Amitabh film because he does not have TV. If I give a TV or 2 to them then what is wrong? Am I asking him to vote for me? It is only due to my good intention that I am doing this. What this EC babus who sit in AC office and AC car and Dish TV understand all this!!??

Reporter: Mantriji coming back to the current issue of corruption and your new role. Over the years politicians have rarely done ever done hard time for corruption charges. Shouldn’t there be some kind of strict policy that considers corruption as treason against the country and have very strict punishment?

Mantriji: You media people tho! What you know about treason? Without any reason…treason! Treason is when you do things that help Pakistan or China! Most of the corruption charges are involving those who do so much good work for India. How can that be treason? No..I believe each case is different. You have to see all sides of a coin before you decide on such sensitive issues.

Reporter: But isn’t it true that corruption erodes our nation’s wealth and global standing. Is it not hurting our progress?

Mantriji: Of course corruuption is not good. I have been saying this for ages. It is a sin. But this sin will not wash with Ganga also. So you must be careful not to be involved in all this.

Reporter: So how do you intend to take action against corrupt MPs or officers?

Mantriji: Why do you media people always pointing fingers at MPs and officers? What about NGO? Have you seen how much corruption they do? Nobody talks about that. I will take strict action against them and make sure they are not stealing from this nation.

Reporter: But Mantriji…

PA to Mantriji: Sorry but Mantriji has a meeting with an important 4G lobby…err…I mean in the lobby. So thank you for your time. No comments.

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